Alternate Rebellion: “Give an honest response instead of a polite one
Speak out rather than staying quiet
Dress in a countercultural style
Challenge statements when you disagree
Choose mediocrity rather than drama
Drop out of things that are not effective
Follow your passion rather than your expectation
Wallow in creativity
Give yourself time to play
Say no to family when they ask for a favor
Leave the light on all day
Get a butterfly tattoo
Write a letter to the editor
Run instead of walking
Turn up the volume
Roll down all the windows
Play a different style of music
Leave things out of place
Shout or scream alone
Cheat on a food plan
Kiss your dog on the lips
Wear clothes that don’t fit right
Express unpopular political views
Sleep late on Saturday
Wear jeans to church
Throw out plastic containers
Get your ears pierced
Fly a gyrocopter
Turn up the bass on rap music
Look into alternative religions
Buy something impractical
Break out of roles expected of you
Change your color preference of clothing
Do things out of order
Do things out of character
Seek your own interests
Don’t clean house
Buy a bird
Go against a suggestion from another
Be yourself with an attitude of ‘if you don’t like it, don’t look.’
Print a slogan on a T-shirt
Buy a bumper sticker
Develop your own web page
Express a diversified viewpoint
Make up your own. . . .”
>DBT Skills List: “Learning to be mindful, to focus, to breathe will help make the application of the modules be more effective. It is paramount to your success in reducing stress and coping.
Remember: Sometimes the skills will not work. This is when you need to quickly go to the Distress Tolerance module and take taking a vacation from the situation that you are in, practice radical acceptance, do a lot of self soothe, and distract activities.
The key to success is the practice of DBT skills.”
DBT Skills List: “Using the What Skills:
Using the How Skills:
DBT Skills List: “Using Objectiveness effectiveness: (Dear Man)
A Appear Confident
Using Relationship Effectiveness: (Give)
E Easy Manner
Self-respect effectiveness: (Fast)
A Apologies (no Apologies)
S Stick to value
DBT Skills List: “Using Reduce Vulnerability: (Please)
P & L Treat Physical Illness
A Altering Drugs (no drugs unless it is medication to be taken as prescribed by your doctor)
Using Build Mastery
Build Positive experiences
Be mindful of current emotion
Opposite to emotion action”
DBT Skills List: “Using Crisis Survival: Distraction with Wise Mind Accepts
E Emotions – use opposite
P Pushing Away
Using Self Soothe with five senses:
Using Improve the moment:
O One thing at a time
Using Pros and Cons
Using Accepting Reality:
Turning your mind
IE Handout 10: “1. Be Fair
This means being fair to yourself and the other person in your attempts to meet your objectives. The idea here is that it is hard to like yourself in the long haul if you consistently take advantage of the other person.
2. No Apologies
Apologize when apologies are warranted. No overly apologetic behavior. No apologizing for being alive. No apologizing for making the request. No apologizing for having an opinion. No apologizing for disagreeing.
Apologizing implies that you are in the wrong…Apologizing when you do not believe you are in the wrong will reduce your sense of effectiveness over time. Being able to apologize is a very important skill, and is important for maintaining relationships, however, it gets on people’s nerves and can reduce relationships effectiveness
3. Stick to Values
Don’t sell out your values or integrity, just to get what you want or keep the other person liking you. Be clear on what, in your opinion, is the moral or valued way of thinking and acting. However, in dire situations, or where lives are at stake, people may decide to give up their values.
4. Be Truthful
Don’t lie or act helpless when you are not. Don’t exaggerate.
A pattern of dishonesty over time erodes your self respect. One instance of dishonesty may not hurt, but dishonesty as your usual pattern over time erodes your self-respect. Acting helpless is the opposite of building mastery. Sometimes being honest may actually reduce relationship effectiveness. The little white lie was invented for this reason. However, if you are going to lie it should be done mindfully, rather that habitually.
Important notes about self respect effectiveness.”
ER Handout 9: “Mindfulness of Your Current Emotion
OBSERVE YOUR EMOTION
NOTE its presence
Get UNSTUCK from the emotion
EXPERIENCE YOUR EMOTION
As a WAVE, coming and going
Try not to BLOCK emotion
Try not to SUPPRESS emotion
Don’t try to GET RID of emotion
Don’t PUSH it away
Don’t try to KEEP emotion around
Don’t HOLD ON to it
Don’t AMPLIFY it
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTION
Do not necessarily ACT on your emotion.
Remember times when you have felt DIFFERENT
PRACTICE LOVING YOUR EMOTION
Don’t JUDGE your emotion. Practice WILLINGNESS
Radically ACCEPT your emotion”
DT Handout 5: “WILLINGNESS
Cultivate a WILLING response to each situation
Willingness is doing just what is needed in each situation, in an unpretentious way. It is focusing on effectiveness.
Willingness is listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, acting from your inner self.
Willingness is becoming aware of your connection to the universe – to the earth, to the floor you are standing on, to the chair you are sitting on, to the person you are talking to.
Ask yourself, in 5 years from now, will the situation that causes the distress matter?
Willfulness is like sitting on your hands when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed.
Willfulness causes you to fight any suggestions that will improve the distress and thus make it more tolerable.
Willfulness is giving up.
It is the opposite of doing what works, of being effective. Willfulness is trying to fix every situation or refusing to tolerate the distressful moment.”
DT Handout 5: “RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE FROM DEEP WITHIN.
It is allowing yourself to go completely with whatever the situation is. Let go of fighting reality.
ACCEPTANCE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF HELL WHICH MUST NOT BE INTERPRETED AS APPROVAL OF THE DISTRESSFUL SITUATION
Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to ACCEPT the pain.
Deciding to tolerate the moment is ACCEPTANCE.
ACCEPTANCE is acknowledging what is.
To accept something is not the same as judging it to be good.
By stopping your self from fighting, the rage or anger you feel will dissipate as long as you continue to accept your condition or your faulty perceptions to events or interpersonal communications difficulties. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when you are able to accept.”