august 3 2006


well i really dont know what to say…i am depressed but not ready to end it…i have tried to stay focused on things and do things i need to be doing but doesnt seem to get me anywhere…i have wrote many emails this week…i have asked who i can for help with no avail…my life is falling apart by the minute…i have not got my check neither has my husband…the car registration expired…the phone was shut off…the house payment is due saturday…my electric and cable are due next week…i have no gas in the car to drive anywhere illegally…i go to court the 25th for my kids andi dontthink i amgetting them backat that court date…so my life is in shambles…what do i do…where do i go…i try to get ahead and out of this dark deep depression and things fall apart when i am doing well…and it brings me back tothis darkness…maybe i am better off deep and dark maybe i will never return maybe i am better off dead…well who knows…who cares…things are falling apart again…well bye for now…will try to write later

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