may 10 2008

I am on a journey to find happiness in my life but I am having such a hard time defining happiness for me. I can not figure out what I can do to find happiness and how i can get it. I dont even believe I know what happiness is since I can not figure out a time in my life that I have been fully happy and not just pretending to be happy. I know happiness is different for everyone and it is an individual thing we must figure out for ourselves but is there anyways to help find it in our own lifes or to feel it that I might be missing. My life as I look back has been so filled with dysfunction and chaos that I am not sure I have ever felt any real bit of happiness. If i dont know what I am looking for how to I find it? If i have never felt it how am I going to know when it does happen? I do know for the most part that I dont like feeling the way I feel or living the way I am living but cant figure out how to not live this way or feel this way. I have figure out somewhat of what I dont like with my life and in others that I am around. I have figured out some of the things that I dont believe will make me happy. Now where do I go from here?

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