November 21, 2008

what I think about myself and life right now
Suicide is not as easy as I wish it could be. I wish I could just do it and get it over with, but I cannot. I hated it when I was teen but I got past it because I thought it would all stop when I became an adult, but it has actually gotten worse. One of these days, I will have enough guts to do it. I just cannot take it anymore. I just wish there was a way I could make it so that I do not have a funeral. I do not want a bunch of people coming there that will pretend to be depressed about my death when in reality they do not give a fuck. They are there just for the show but a week later, they will just get back to their normal lives. A life without me, but their lives were always without me, so why should they care? They will be relieved that I am no longer here.

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