october 31 2008

Letter to my Daughter as she is about to turn 7
Current mood: depressed
Dear Autumn,
It has been a little over a year since our last vist with eachother, when we said goodbye. I have thought about you alot, wondered where you are, what you have been doing, and how things are going in your life since then. I have missed holding you in my arms but know you are safe with your adoptive family and they are there holding you as tight as I would be and kissing you goodnight. I know that they care for you and love you just as much as I do. You are a special little girl and hold a special place in my heart. I know the same is true of your adoptive family. Although we are not together, we still sleep under the same sky at night and can wish on the very same stars that we both can see. At night when I look up in the sky at the stars as they shine bright under the moonlight, I think of you, snuggled in your bed sleeping soundly having happy dreams. I smile knowing you are safe and are being cared for and loved by your new family. I was told that you started first grade this past fall and are doing well. I am excited for you and wish I could have been there holding your hand, supporting you. Although I wasnt there I know someone was there with you who cares and loves you just as much as I do and they were just as supportive to you as I would have wanted to be. It makes me happy that you have them. Well your Birthday is in 12 days and I wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I hope your Birthday is bright. I hope that your special day is an exciting happy day for you and you have a good time. I remember the afternoon you were born. You were in such a hurry to come into the world that you didnt wait for the doctor to arrive at the hospital before you blessed the world and me with your presence. At first it was scary for me but once I held you, my first baby girl and saw your beautiful preciousness, my fears all disappeared. I remember your first cry after you were able to get that first breathe of oxygen they gave you. It gave me such relief to hear your little cary and know you were alright. Then I held you in my arms for the first time after they wrapped you in a warmed blanket and I looked in your beautiful tiny eyes and cried. I cried tears of joy and happiness as I held you close to me holding your tiny little hand. As I write this to you I remember it clearly as if it was just yesterday even though it was almost 7 years ago. As I end this letter I want you to know I will never forget about you and you will always be special to me and hold a very special place in my heart.I love you and miss you very much. I will always remember the special times we had together.
Love Always and Forever Your Biological Mom

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