november 18 2007

this is my last goodbye
as i slice my wrist open
i can feel the blood draining
my tears are all dry
i no longer have to cry
realizing theres not much time
i close my eyes
knowing the agony will soon be gone
as i lay here peacefully
waiting to die

deep inside my soul is just one big empty hole
no matter what i try to fill it up with
nothing seems to ever satisfy my soul
theres no hiding the agony i feel for long
i dont think i can ever move on
this devastation i have caused myself
will alldisappear when i am finally dead and gone

i think about trying to end it it all
not knowing the future and not caring about it at all
i feel like crying letting all the pain just flow out
my tears are no longer flowing they have all dried
as my mind begins to wander i am feeling so low
my thoughts start racing i i just want to go
end all my pain no one will ever know how it is
to want to die so much but yet be a coward laying here
unable to follow through because u have so much fear
hoping someone else would do it for you
because the pain is so hard to bare.

please take my pain away
i an not take things for another day
this world is so cold and dark
alone with no babies left to hold
how much more misery must i endure
why wont they all just try and see
how much all the agony is torture to me
when will everyone understand
my dying would be a blessing in disguise

when a life is not worth living
why keep holding onto it day by day
when your left here all alone
with nothing left but a broken soul
i try to bury all the pain inside
but sometimes it all becomes too much for me to hide
i begin drowning in misery with no hope
i find there is only one way for me to cope
bleed like so many times before
as i watch my blood begin to pour
my begins draining from the vein
maybe someday i will end all my pain
when that day finally arrives
i pray that i will not live or survive

as i think of all my pain buried inside
i long to feel my blood flow out
so i can escape my agony
it gets so hard to go through without
without the blade that helps me get away

i long to feel your edge as i run you against my skin
but i know that i deserve to feel all this misery that i am in
without you around i find it hard to breathe
you have gotten me through the hardest of times
when will they all see that you never have been a sin
you have been nothing to me except a a great friend
friends help friends through the toughests of times
when i am feeling down or blue i know you will be there
you get me through the biggest of fear
you are there for me when no one else is here
when i bleed out all of my sins
you leave a memory with me on my skin
i wish i had you here with me now

i lay here enduring this pain
needing you with me to help me through
like so many times before you were my way out
my life is broken my dreams are shattered
when they were around you never had mattered
you help me through all my shame
i need you more and more each day
the relief from my blood flowing from my vien

i need you near to take away all my fear
i want to escape these agonizing feelings
i wont have to cry when my blood appears
i know with you i dont have to feel these feelings

i need you near to help me breathe
you will help me succeed and take away all my fear
as i make the first cut i wont no tears
knowing my blood will slowly appear
as i continue to bleed all my pain will begin to lift
i know my mind needs an escape
there goes the bad draining out of my veins
feeling a rush in my head i wish i was dead
slashing myself more and more feeling no pains
i feel so numb and no longer do i hurt
although you are my drug
you are always there when i need to run
i run and hide to avoid all my pain i feel inside

i begin crying as i think about dying
i yearn to escape myself and from from me
wish i could slice open my wrist
watch as my veins drain out endlessly
now i just want to close my eyes
i relize now i am ready to die


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