september 7 2007

thoughts of today
Current mood: blank
today i feel uunlike myself…not all here…fading in and out of the world as we know it…almost like i am a cloud drifting by not knowing why i cant seem to cry although deep down i feel so much like the rain needs to pour out of my eyes like the rain daoes when it falls from the sky as the clouds pass by…day in and day out i seem to feel more and more what life is about and it makes me miserable to know i am living my life without my kids and cant seem to just stop this craziness in my head…the thoughts…the feelings…the wants…the needs…the desires…all these things i so desperately feel the need to feel…to feel to pain like so many times a felt before…the pain that helps me get away from these emotions…when will it all just disapate…when will i begin to feel feel…i so much want to know im real and not so dull and down…

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