I have some words for all those who are insecure, for all those who are tired of being used and manipulated by their so-called friends, and for those who have low self esteem.

I happen to think that if you identify with one of these “illnesses” you are being tormented my all – insecurity, naiveté and low self-esteem. Before you move on to a different page because you don’t think you suffer from any of the above, answer the following question, “Are you constantly worried about what other people might say or think of you if you don’t do, or if you happen to do, a certain thing? Maybe there is something you don’t want to do but you do it because you figure that it is better to give in than to have the people around you talking bad about you, look at you in a funny way, or maybe they might think you are not down. How can you look at people in the eye after you supposedly let them down? It is a very hard thing to do, but it’s not impossible. You might lose acquaintances left and right, but believe me, you are better off without them around you. The people that are still hanging around you after you said “no” to something they wanted you to do or to give, those few are the ones you should start to consider friends.

Where and how do you start? Start doing things for yourself. Do things you WANT to do. I read somewhere that there is no “I” in “esteem.” I can’t remember what was implied by that statement but I know what I mean when I tell you to put an “I” in “self-esteem.” Build your self-esteem by being selfish. Many people hear the word selfish and think of it as a bad word. Nobody wants to be known as a selfish person. In my vocabulary, “selfish” means that you come first. Example: If you and someone else eat lunch together and that someone happens to finish first and, in the nicest way possible asks you for your cookies or apple, you are likely to give it to that person. This is where you have to be selfish and say no. Look the person in the eye and let him know that you are hungry too. Little things like that can help you build your self-esteem. Remember when saying “no” always to look people in the eyes. They’ll most likely ask why not and say that you are messed up and that you are cold. Continue to look them in the eye and tell them, “No, I don’t want to” or simply “no.” If this helps you (I say “if” because I am not this amazing doctor that came up with a cure), if you feel confident and you start seeing people’s true colors, then you can start saying “yes.” People around you will know that you say “yes” when you want to and “no” when you don’t. Remember to stand strong in your decision.

Alex M.



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