Look what I think

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 at 12:28AM

wonder the point. I wonder the purpose. Why do you bother? Why do I try? I wonder what is truth and what is lies. As things keep going and the more that’s said and done I continue to see more and more that I never knew. I never can understand you. Why do I feel hopeless? Everything I have been through for the last 30 months has all been for nothing. No true care. No honesty. False and inconsistent understanding. Now I am no longer sure there truly is a reason to continue. I have had my head fucked with and continuous invalidation of the truth. Continued harm and blind by a need to be loved. Blinded by fear and so I believed people really cared. Now I see no one truly does. I want to know why you like doing this? Why don’t you leave me be. Its obvious no one can truly see how much hurts inside me. None of you see your hurting me. None of you care . I don’t want to here. I am sorry I cannot be who or what anyone wants. I am sorry I am not worth it like others are and have been. I am sorry I trusted anyone and let them in. I am sorry. I wish I never let you in. I wish I never believed anything you have ever said. I wish it was easy for me to let you go since it seems so easy for you to screw with me and fuck with my head. I wish I stayed on guard and not been such a retard believing someone was not like the rest of them in the system. Why did I let you in? Why did you do this? Why didn’t you leave me be? What’s wrong with me? Why am I trash? Why hurt me? Do you think this is funny? Do you think me lying here crying and hurting is an accomplishment? Did you succeed at what you have set out to do? Is it your job to mess me up enough to not be eligible for services anymore cause no one there actually truly understands mental health and emotional issues instead they hide behind that claiming mental health support when in fact it is a company that only cares about physically helping not mentally and emotionally helping. Is it your duty to fuck me up to a point of not coming out of it so no one knows

Shared with Memoires for Android


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